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Consuming large amounts of alcohol can uncover talents you never knew existed. And might want to forget. Such skills…
unimaginable crap food
You always thought of yourself as a fussy eater, but after eight pints or a few bottles of Prosecco anything goes. Don’t mind shunning the dodgiest takeaway anus-and-tendon burger, you’ll have no problem demolishing the ketchup and Nutella Vitabix sandwich when that’s all you can find once you arrive from the pub.
Usually you don’t call a goose boo. But after enough Stella you’re walking around like a pimp’s pet peacock, exuding George Clooney charm, giving excellent advice, informing others about your provocative opinions, and giving grateful women sexual experiences. are providing. Although in reality you are just a massive cunt. And even if you somehow get lucky, you’re about to show off your talent for brewing.
Despite being quite responsible in general, throw in a few vodka shots and the property starts to magically disappear. Where did your house keys go? Did it have anything to do with swirling your handbag around your head in drunken excitement? what did you do with your phone? You couldn’t lose it – you spent all night taking absolutely pointless identical pictures of angry people with it.
In everyday life you tend to keep your cards close to your chest, unless you’re a drinker like Piers Morgan does unnecessarily. The only problem is if someone well-informed disagrees with you. Luckily yelling, personal attacks and changing the subject are all great ways to win an argument. You have wine to thank for this.
looking your worst
You may have spent hours carefully perfecting your look for a night out, but you have the talent to transform into Worzel Gummies in minutes. Hair everywhere, makeup like a teary clown, missing a shoe – you somehow didn’t notice. At least your doner kebabs won’t judge you. Damn it, you just dropped it on a dirty sidewalk. It must be a new talent to watch calories.
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